The Ongoing BJJ Saga
Social media reminded me that I’ve had my blue belt in BJJ for two years now.
It’s quite a journey. I wish that I could tell you that I’m a better practitioner (I could be) now but that’s up to others to determine. I hit a snag earlier this year that put me out of the game, out of competition, and I had to play some catchup physically and emotionally too.
My first year as a blue belt was like that first year of college, where it’s all basics and a rehash of high school. White belts target you, and purple belts look at you like a threat to their egos (not really but it’s fun to pick on them). My second year is what I really looked forward to, because I thought that I would grow into the blue belt role and start to learn jiu jitsu at a deeper fundamental level. As previously mentioned, Year Two did not go my way completely.
Year Two started during a time where I felt as though I had stagnated again. I was in a BJJ funk that took forever to get out of. I did not enjoy training, I did not want to train, and gritting my teeth and training in spite of all that still felt half-assed and I felt bad for training partners because of what I was dealing with internally. The funk ends, I have a great couple of classes in the Spring and I feel like I’m getting better. Then I hit that snag that takes me out until June, and all that progress feels lost, the funk returns.
Snags are manageable — but this one was mysterious, and painful. Two failed attempts at a comeback. I felt horrible.
I overcome the snag, I start training again. I play the physical and emotional catchup game, and I wait for that next moment of clarity where maybe I’ve gotten better at jitsu.
Then on 9/27, social media reminds me that I’m a Year Two blue belt. I get depressed.
But it’s okay, because that was 9/27.
10/10/18 was a great jitsu day. No, I didn’t get a new belt, or a stripe. I just had a good day where things clicked. This being the culmination of better habits I’ve developed the last few months. I’ve established a pattern of progress, something to take with me into the next inevitable funk.
